My Relationship with Mr. J.

I start my relationship series this week. There’s so much. I have been blessed to talk to amazing guys during the course of my life. I will share my experiences with these guys. I hope someone will learn from my mistakes and you will be encouraged in your journey to find love.

My Relationship Series Starts with Mr. J.
Since when I was young, I knew him. I got serious with him seven years ago. He’s a sweet person, everything I want in a guy. He’s thoughtful, down-to-earth, awesome, all that good stuff.
I can’t imagine my life w/o him. I talk and sing to him every day, as I read his love letters. He’s the only reason why I love life, I mean he makes it more interesting. I know when am down and call him up, he’s always there to comfort.
The cool thing about him is that my parents brought us together. Sometimes am selfish and think about myself instead of him. He never reminds me of my past failures in our relationship; forgives all the time and moves on.
I can’t wait to spend seven years in our marriage feast. All my brothers’ and sisters know him. Men, am too lucky to be in a relationship with a man that owns the whole world.
I didn’t struggle to make him love me; he already did even before I got into this relationship. Although I don’t see him I can always feel his presence around me.
Shout out to Mr. J!!!!

How to know if your Nigerian Man is Married to someone in Nigeria by Olaniyi Abodedele

Re-blogged from the Nigerian Voice Magazine

Today I want to stand up and speak on behalf of many innocent ladies across the globe who have been deceived by a few Nigerian men for one reason or the other while they are married to a Nigerian lady; in return I want to hear your views and experience as well.

Nigeria is a country made up of the lawful and the unlawful, pretty much like other countries we all know. One difference is, Nigerians see the developed world as countries which present them with great opportunities they can take advantage of. The honest truth is that, they are a hard working bunch, no matter which field they find themselves.

For too long, Nigeria and Nigerians have been readily associated with the online scams, financial crime, identity theft, deceit and impersonation – termed 419’. However, beyond the unfortunate stereotyping, there are several positive characteristics and cogent intriguing traits of the country, and its people.

Mostly when you hear about Nigerian men, it’s either about one controversy or the other, the sad reality is that bad news spread like wild fire over good news.  A country so blessed, yet, refuses to grow due to corruption and ignorance of its leaders, a country so blessed; yet, honesty is a scares commodity amongst majority of its citizen.  A country so blessed; yet, the mindset of the average person are questionable. Despite all these Nigerian men are still one of the most loving men, if you are lucky to meet the good ones.

The topic about Nigerian men is never ending from Africa to Europe to Asia to the middle East, down to America and Australia; they are cherished by lucky women who..Click here to read the full article and for more interesting articles on Nigerian men

Dear Mr. Someone,

Boy.. Nothing can stop my love for you.

I have conditioned my heart to only love you. I conditioned my thoughts to only think about you. I pray, I grow into the woman who will never disappoint you. I pray, I do you good all the days of my life. My heart beats for only God and you. You are the father of my future children. I can’t wait to meet you. I pray you love God more than me. I pray, we love God more than each other. I will close my eyes until God opens my eyes to you. I am ready for good and bad days with you. God first… Till we meet, I will wait for you!!!

The Bride Price Market: What is Your Price?

Nigerian women, there’s an invisible bride price market in our society.
8 out 10 Nigerian guys believe with the right price, they can get any girl in Nigeria.
If a man can buy you, you are an expensive Ferrari with baby-making capability, house-making capability, cooking capability, love-making capability and much more.

3 out of the 4 Nigerian guys I meet want to make money before they choose their wives.
One guy clearly told me that a lot of Nigerian girls will flock around when there is money, so he will choose who he really wants when he has money.

A lot of Nigerian women are belittling their value for common naira or dollars.
We have devalued our worth to mere $$$$.

YOU ARE PRICELESS..
You are too expensive for money to buy.
Don’t devalue your worth for anyone or anything. It is not worth it.

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband has trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Photo Credits: Photogenik Photo

True love is beautiful

Signs you are dating a boy and not a man..

Man vs. Boy We often think that maturity comes with age, but that’s not always the case. A man can be a boy at any age.

  1. He has children that he is not taking care of: A real man takes care of his children even if it means paying child support. He is grown enough to take on his responsibility. On top of that he tries to be in his children’s lives.
  2. He has 3 or more baby mamas: At some point a man has to realize that too many baby mama is too stressful to keep up. So he commits to one woman.
  3. It’s a beauty contest with a boy: the pretty girl will always win. A man’s attraction goes beyond looks. Looks will get a man’s attention, but character, values will keep his attention.
  4.  A boy has no future goals: He lives with no purpose.
  5. He is financially reckless: he has no savings, but he invests so much money in pimping his ride. He doesn’t understand the importance of budgeting, saving and future planning. He works, but he is constantly asking people for money.
  6.  A boy lives his life to impress others.
  7.  He sags his pants. There’s nothing mature about anyone who sags their pants.
  8.  You find yourself mothering him.
  9. Spends his whole day playing play station.
  10.  He flirts with other women in front of you.You need a MAN and not a boy!! 

More articles to read:
http://jamesmsama.com/2014/09/29/3-clear-differences-between-dating-men-and-boys/
http://likes.com/relationships/10-signs-your-dating-a-boy-not-a-man
http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2014/08/10-signs-youre-dating-a-boy-not-a-man/

Photo Credit: Google

African Amnesia

love-africa-stickerA very common condition where native-born Africans in developed countries suddenly forget their African identity and heritage in the absence of trauma.

Common Causes:
1. Extreme embarrassment for their African country, identity or heritage.
2. Extreme love for their new country.
3. Forced to denounce their native country for serious reasons.
4. Social acceptance
5. Status change

Symptoms:
1. Loss of memories in Africa
2. Loss of appetite for native African foods, patient can’t even stand the sight.
3. Sudden inability to speak their native African language.
4. Exaggerated love for anything that undermines their native African country.

Treatment:
1. A reality clap from someone with a massive hand.
2. Deployment from the developed country.
3. A huge party with all the patient’s favorite foods from motherland.
4. A reality check from family members and friends.

For Non-Nigerian Women: How to make a Nigerian man LOVE you..

Nigerian guy1. If you googled (how to make a Nigerian Man love you), you are trying too hard. Men in general subconsciously have desperate detectors. I have never met a man who likes desperate; he probably exists, I haven’t met him yet. No matter how desperate you are, he does not have to know.

Why should you hide desperate? This is very important because some Nigerian guys can capitalize on it and use it to their advantage. Trust me, hiding the thirst will work for you. If he likes you, he will chase you. Allow him to chase you.

Nigerian guys are in your home country for a chance for a better job opportunity, education, etc. They already understand that something worth having is worth chasing. If he likes you, he will come after you except he is married or a wimp. If he married or a wimp, you don’t want him anyways, let him go. Stop trying so hard to win his attention. If he doesn’t like you, you will meet somebody else who adores you.

2. Love yourself: you know that quote “nobody can love you until you love yourself”(unknown).. Very true!! No guy in this world can love you until you love yourself.

3. Have something going for yourself: education is huge in our Nigerian culture. If you are not educated, at least have something going for yourself.

4. Be yourself: This may sound like a cliché but it is absolutely true. Be the best you and you will attract the right man.

Honestly ladies, there’s no right formula to get a Nigerian man (or any guy). My suggestion is to stop trying and be yourself. Guys are ok with a smile to let them know you are interested. Know your worth ladies and lets these guys chase after you. You are worth the chase!!!

For Single Christian Ladies: Chase God and Look Good

Chase God and look Good is a simple way to combat desperation while putting things under perspective.

Chasing God is very important for us as singles because only God can complete us. You know what the bible says “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added” Matthew 6:33. As a single the type of guy I want is also chasing God so we will find each other in Christ. God doesn’t want us to idolize relationships, marriages.. He wants us, complete in Him first. Chasing God will also help us to focus our relationship with Christ instead of looking for our significant other. Don’t forget that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” James 1:17. A good man is a gift from God. It makes more sense to chase the giver of good gifts.

Why should you look good? Men are visual creatures. The same way you want your man to look fly when you meet him. You should strive to look fly to impress him too. One of the greatest lie I told myself as a single was “I wanted a guy who loved my inner beauty and not my outward.” So for years, I didn’t wear makeup (Yikes!!). My non-wearing make-up days didn’t go so well. The reality is that guys are visual creatures. I didn’t have a lot of guys in my social circle yet I wanted a guy to like my inner beauty first. How was that going to happen?

Chasing God and looking good puts us in a win-win situation because no man in this world can complete us except Christ. The looking good is so that your husband doesn’t bleed the “blood of Jesus” when God points you out to him. There’s no need to act desperate as we chase God the husband will come.

Hebrew 12:2-“Looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”

Take a break from the norm: do something different this Valentine’s Day…

Businesses capitalize on special days to the point that it loses its luster.

"love should spur you with the feeling ike you can conquer the world"

“Your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.”-9jagirl4real

Valentine’s day is not about gifts: flowers, jewelry..etc.. Valentine’s day is a day to celebrate your relationship. There’s no universal way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Your relationship is different from other people’s relationship so your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.

Here are some 10 new ways you can spice up your Valentine’s day:

1. Love is priceless-Give each other a gift that money can’t buy

2.Be spontaneous by doing something different from your Valentine’s day tradition- if you always go out to eat, go out to a beautiful park in another city and have a picnic. Do something out the norm that will still bring meaning and satisfaction to your relationship.

3. Celebrate Valentine’s day every day 14th day of every month for the whole year or pick another date for your own valentine’s day.

4. Write each other secret love notes and let your partner find them in some unconventional places.

5. For married couples(because I don’t endorse premarital sex): have a quickie in a new spot.

6. If you can afford it: celebrate Valentine’s day in different country(Hint: An African Country).

7. Start a new relationship tradition.

8. Send your children an annoying Valentine’s day selfie.

9. Do something wild, crazy and still legal

10. Prank your kids for your amusement.